Posted by yz on Monday, April 23, 2007 in complaining, women,

So why? or What the hell?

so i haven't blogged in a while. its been a combination of writer's block, no reliable internet access, transcontinental moving that shook me to my core and many many other excuses which are just that, excuses. and most likely you don't care so.....

.....I'm back in Uganda, the Pearl of Africa, the motherland, and there's a bunch of things i could complain about. I could go on about the mosquitoes, or the meningitis in the north and only expired drugs to treat it with, or how global warming has transformed Kampala into a literal dustbowel, and lets not forget how i could marvel at the M7's twisted genius. If I finished all that I could traverse the beaten path of bashing Umeme before turning onto "i hate NWSC" street. But I decided i feel better starting from the grass roots. What's been bothering me, about Ug is.....

......I don't what it is about ugandan girls. There's quite a few who have the light bulb above thier heads on 24/7 but then there's that minority...These ones...they're just...well its....ummmmm.....they are a whole special kind of crazy that has yet to be researched and documented simply becuase there is a deficit of psychiatrists in Kampala but that's another story....these special crazies....they make my head hurt with just one question... what the hell?

It all started with a taxi to Entebbe on a Saturday afternoon....no wait....I want it pictured properly. A typical hot afternoon in the Old Taxi Park. For non ugandans, picture milling people, sweaty bodies, more carbondioixide than oxygen, people selling things ranging from underwear to fake nokias, and many many matatus.Above it all the sun was literally beating down on us with kiboko shaped rays that whipped you, leaving you faint and crying for your mama.

Now picture me:

I am in a bad mood. I am wearing my bad mood tshirt which is black with a huge grenade on it. My hair pulled quickly into a ponytail/puff that could have been done better but isn't. My ipod earphones blasting at full volume Nas's "Hate Me Now" in my ear, blocking out of the world.

Thus I approach the Entebbe stage. I've walked down the Naguru hill, fought through Nakawa market, elbowed a grannie after standing in nakawa for almost thrity minutes for a taxi, just so the familia doesn't complain I've deserted them in entebbe for my flashier cousins in naguru. I am making this long journey in a taxi. I dislike it intensely becuase there's never enough space for my legs so by the time I've reached I know I'll have lost all feeling beyond my knees.In addition to that I am thinking the taxi will be steamy with people who abhor deodorant and maybe the windows will be stuck....lets just say mentally I was not in a friendly "save the cuddly baby seals from poaching"

now picture them, the couple;

They are standing at the stage. He is looking excited about thier planned adventure to the beach. He's smiling at everyone, oblivious to the rest of the world fighting to enter a taxis. She's holding him like her life depends on it, dolled up in heels, a mini skirt and enough makeup that i think the cells on her face are suffocating. And she's just come from the salon, you can tell. You can always tell with permed hair

What happens:

I spare them a glance wondering if he told her where they were going cuz her make-up's gonna run and her hair is going to be a mess of hyacinth and bilharzia snails. And I wasn't being mean. There are only three types of people who go to Entebbe. The first live there (me), the second are going to the airport and third are going to the beach....but I never spared this much thought on them then.The whole hair decorated with water hyacinth and bilharzia snails came at the end when i was thinking evil and bitter thoughts about She.... honestly I don't look at people and inflict judgement.... I don't hate, I appreciate....

Anyway....

A taxi approaches and I make a dash for my seat (right in the very back, by the window which opens). This involves a little more push and shove with other people but I succeed (cheer here) and sit. I move to open the window....and it opens all the way (cheer again). my mood brightens slightly. The song switches to Greenday "American Idiot" . I tap to the beat on my lap, head almost out of the window, paying no attention to the people beside me.

We set off.The breeze moves me to almost joy. I am very close to joy at this point, just about to knock at its door.The ipod plays on and I think, "when will a ugandan rock band be formed and when will they create "Ugandan Idiot" so that i can sing along?" In the midst of such philisophical meanderings suddenly I feel someone touch me. I break out of my mental solitude to inflict as much bodily harm as my pair of eyes can manage. I even push my glass low on my nose so that I can look scornful. then my eyes impart information to my brain which it in turn translates into something useful. I will give you the transcript.

Eyes - It is a male and a female. The male is the one who touched you. They are about your age, maybe older. The boy is looking at you. his teeth are showing. The girl is also looking at you, no teeth showing, but her eyes are narrowed.

Brain - It is a girl and a boy.They are about your age, maybe older...wait... it is that couple from the stage.The teeth showing mean he is smiling, he is happy. Why is he happy? You do not know him from Adam. Repeat. You do not know him from Adam. The Female. Narrowed eyes are never positive.Yes, by comparing this ongoing event to past events stored within here, just behind the hamster on the wheel, it is accurate to assume that she is angry and it appears she is angry at you. Your behavior has been to pointedly ignore her but you do not know her from Adam either so it should not have bothered her. Need more data to make a correct conclusion.... Set preparations for a conversation...Are we ready?...One, Two, Three and we're on...

Me - "Yes?"
He - "Excuse me, I am sorry. Do you know how much it is to sese gateway? 1,500 or the full 1,800?"
Me (I grunt)- "1,500 I think but ask the conductor,"
He (smiling again)- "Thank you"

I get no thank you from her. Instead She gives me a deathly look, looks me up and down, rolls her eyes and then turns her whole body sideways so that she is sitting in such a way that her back is towards me, while flinging her upper body around her guy.And then she proceeds to give me the cold shoulder the rest of the way, interchanging this rarely with more killer looks.

What the hell?

In all of this where did I do something that made her feel the need to go into special crazie mode. I did not bat my eyelashes, did not jiggle these western hips , did not even smile.I mean, I could see how she might have had a point if say, I'd been as dolled up as she was and when he poked me, I did this sexy turn followed by a sultry, "Yes?" all the while showing off my boobs. Yeah, Like my mouth would have been saying "1,500 i think but ask the conductor" but my eyes would have been saying Don't you wish your girlfirend was hot like me? She'd have been totally justified then.

But I didn't. I didn't do any of that. I didn't even care one teeny weeny little biit about them.They didn't exist to me until he poked me. And they would have continued to not exist if she hadn't reacted so.....jealously doesn't sound extreme enough.

So what's up with that? Was she so insecure that she felt anyone he talked to was a potential threat? Was it about me? Did I do something? Perhaps I blinked and she mistook it for a wink? Basically....why? I need to know. Its ok if you hate me and I know why. For example I can stomach "y.z. you are a black african nigger and so I hate you" its an opinion. opinions are ok. they show that you think something. there is a thought process involved. i can respect opinions. they explain why ...not knowing why? its unbearable....

so jealous girlfriends out there....what the hell?