Posted by yz on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 in

Its Tuesday, market day in Entebbe, town of my heart. I, yes I, went to the market with my momz. I didn't participate in haggling. I watched and took detailed notes(in my head). I now know that the first price is never the right price. And also instead of jeans, I might consider a lesu and a worn tshirt. My beloved pumas might also be temporarily retired and in their place, my pink flip flops from target (pronounced tar-jay) could serve as worthy sapatu. This outfit will apparently make the market women empathize. That is what mummy says (Yes I still call her mummy. sue me). You see, the madre is going country hopping tonight and I've been left in control for two weeks. I am trying not to let the power go to my head. I have to keep reminding myself that nutella is not on the shopping list. We'll see how this goes...

.....Then I got my eyebrows done which revealed how much of a nerd I really am. When he told me how much it was going to cost I actually felt pain. Not becuase it was ridiculously expensive but becuase it was going to reduce my Internet time. It was a tough choice, no werewolf eyebrows or Blogger. Luckily I didn't have to choose AKA I'm now walking home....but that's OK, anything for cyberspace....and socially acceptable eyebrows.

Anyway

Every time I'm in Ebbs, I unpack a little. Last night I went through my shoebox, letters, cards, research essays and other papers I wrote for school. Found this poem I wrote when for 11th Grade English Class. I kind of like it. Well, I actually like it.

My dreams lie crushed beneath your hand,
Each fatal step, a hard hitting blow before my eyes.
Your fate makes my demise seem so much lesser,
As if I am worth nothing now that you are gone.
Why do I care so much?
Who are you to make me care so much?
How can you have such a firm grip on my spirit?
Never letting me breathe for fear I might lose you,
But then again, I have already lost you.
To that which we had never dreamed would get to us so soon,
What have I left?
Nothing but recollections that hinder me.
Can I step forward and leave the past behind,
Or will I forever be locked behind its doors?
Should I be angry with you for making me this way?
For making it so that every laugh seems pointless,
Each smile a waste of time?
I get irate when people speak of you,
Pity in their words, abhorrence in their eyes.
Our mutual friends never saw you the way I did,
I know they feel your loss,
Nevertheless I don't believe that they know the truth.
I shall never tell them and so,
Secrets we share will forever remain between us.
I question fully the word 'friend',
For you were much more to me.
The big mistake I made was not choosing you,
But then again you knew,
And in awareness sealed my destiny.
I want to call that fiction but I know better.
I want to move on, a new life calls to me,
Yet my heart ceases at the thought of leaving you behind.
Daydreams of how it could have been, Should have been, will never be,
Threaten to take over my life.
They come shadowing me because,
Six feet under, you still control me, never letting me rest,
Excluding me from life as you have been.
What took you will eventually come for me.
Till then I move on,
Hoarding the fragments left of my being.