In my family

Posted by yz on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 in

• We are all friends on facebook.
  My sister’s status this very minute? MUMMY PLEASE CHECK YOUR INBOX. Never mind that they live in the same house.
  
• Dissing is normal.
  My aunt to my other aunt at breakfast one fine Christmas morning “ DB you know something? you look like a raccoon”
  
• Amazingness is assumed.
  Dyslexic sister runs into living room with results from school, all As and Bs. - Mummy, Yz, Fart, I did really well!
  Mother - That’s nice (returns to Buddhist magazine)
  Sis – What?! That’s it! That’s your reaction?
  Fart – Welcome to the Club. (turns back to Yz) . I didn’t even get a ‘that’s nice’ when I got a 2100 on the SAT
  Yz – Bambi leave her. Look what we can do is this. You go down to kitoro and buy me 5k airtime and get yourself 500/=…yeah?
  
• Overly dramaticness (new word, all mine) is either heavily employed or ignored
  Bat lands on aunt’s back. Aunt begins screaming and running around the living room, flapping her arms around
  “GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! AAAAH!!”
  2 yr old cousin – Auntie, it’s just a bat
  Yz ( to sister Fart) - she’s actually screaming
  Fart – Mhmm. haha! you landed on a snake. don't cheat this time!
  Kaaka – (in ruchiga) DB stop jumping and shouting! I'm trying to watch the news!
  
• Denial in the face of defeat is common
  Maid to 7 year old Fart – Fart! Why did you spit your tablet into the sink?
  Fart – Aah-a! Even Yz swallowed. Nga you haven’t asked her!
  Yz – Shya! Mine is here. I haven’t swallowed it yet!
  Fart – Ok fine but the tablet isn’t mine.
  Maid – But yesterday I caught you spitting the medicine in the toilet…
  Fart – That was yesterday! Today this is not mine.
  Maid – So this tablet at the bottom of your cup is not yours?
  Fart – Yes
  Maid – So whose is it?
  Fart – I don’t know.
  
• Children are cheap entertainment
  Circa 1993, electricity had gone, mother dearest turns on the battery powered radio. Tshala Mwana begins to sing.
  “Dance children, dance!
  Dance we did. What choice did we have?
  
• Friends are family
  Stranger – So you’re cousins?
  Yz – Basically
  Stranger – Basically?
  Yz – yes, but not technically. Just basically
  Stranger – I’m confused