A friend's thurrogits
My friend Saliva* is super cool. She's got the usual things you want in a friend, like a working sense of humor, honesty, their company when you're between a rock and a hard place etc etc etc. On top of that, she's also nerdy, extremely beautiful in that way Arab women can be beautiful and completely unaware of it (I like to think birds of a feather flock together), a complete fool (much like moi), an Aquarius (all the really cool people are, only haters disagree), and much more. However, I have not come to preach about the wonder that is my friend. No, I have come to share with you the things she says...
[to be more precise, I miss her and Gory** and now y'all must suffer the consequences]
"Stupid, stupid essays. If I didn't have these stupid essays, I'd be out there. OUT THERE...running naked in the streets."
"Don’t make me MAD! I’m a terrorist, remember?"
"Can I fart? I feel like farting but I don’t want to move…"
"I don’t work with blackmail. I’m a peaceful Arab!"
"It’s my back. Why do you care? I can show it to however many people I want." (talking about her lower back after being asked to pull up her jeans for the nth time)
"Yz: What are you doing?
Saliva: Playing with my eyelashes" (random study night)
"I hear voices in my head…I’m not kidding!!! (while waiting for dinner )"
"Saliva: I don’t like that girl.
Yz: You hate that girl like you hate water.
Saliva: I like water.
Yz: Fine…you hate the girl like you hate poop.
Saliva: But I like poop…"
"Saliva (on the phone with Yz): Hold on.
(Yz hears scuffing in the background…)
Yz: What are you doing, Saliva?
Saliva (In a very serious manner): Fighting with the cat."
"Yz: Saliva, how would you describe me?
Saliva (after typing and typing and typing for the longest time): "i don't know! every time i try its like a blonde describing her best friend"
"Saliva: (while studying for her O.Chem exam, trying to wear a broken bracelet, being a distraction and commenting on her cool lost watch that counted seconds in Chinese) “I’m fucking idiot!!!” … (2 sec. later)… “I know I forgot an ‘a’ in there!”
"Saliva: My brain isn’t in my head most of the time.
Gory: Where is it?
Saliva: I don’t know. If you find it, can you tell me?"
"Saliva: Can you tell me how not to make stupid mistakes on my math exam?
Gory: (gives tips)…Check each step as you write it etc…
Saliva: Can you punch me – right here on the arm?
Gory: Why?
Saliva: Because I hate myself right now and I’ll remember these suggestions if you punch me."
"Gory: So you’re all alone in this suite now?
Saliva: Yeah! It’s great. I can leave all my things everywhere and not just lock the common room door and not worry about it. And I walk around naked…"
* - Nickname. Real name withheld for my own safety.
** - Nickname of third musketeer, also an amazing, beautiful person as all my friends are. Real name also withheld for my own safety.
[to be more precise, I miss her and Gory** and now y'all must suffer the consequences]
"Stupid, stupid essays. If I didn't have these stupid essays, I'd be out there. OUT THERE...running naked in the streets."
"Don’t make me MAD! I’m a terrorist, remember?"
"Can I fart? I feel like farting but I don’t want to move…"
"I don’t work with blackmail. I’m a peaceful Arab!"
"It’s my back. Why do you care? I can show it to however many people I want." (talking about her lower back after being asked to pull up her jeans for the nth time)
"Yz: What are you doing?
Saliva: Playing with my eyelashes" (random study night)
"I hear voices in my head…I’m not kidding!!! (while waiting for dinner )"
"Saliva: I don’t like that girl.
Yz: You hate that girl like you hate water.
Saliva: I like water.
Yz: Fine…you hate the girl like you hate poop.
Saliva: But I like poop…"
"Saliva (on the phone with Yz): Hold on.
(Yz hears scuffing in the background…)
Yz: What are you doing, Saliva?
Saliva (In a very serious manner): Fighting with the cat."
"Yz: Saliva, how would you describe me?
Saliva (after typing and typing and typing for the longest time): "i don't know! every time i try its like a blonde describing her best friend"
"Saliva: (while studying for her O.Chem exam, trying to wear a broken bracelet, being a distraction and commenting on her cool lost watch that counted seconds in Chinese) “I’m fucking idiot!!!” … (2 sec. later)… “I know I forgot an ‘a’ in there!”
"Saliva: My brain isn’t in my head most of the time.
Gory: Where is it?
Saliva: I don’t know. If you find it, can you tell me?"
"Saliva: Can you tell me how not to make stupid mistakes on my math exam?
Gory: (gives tips)…Check each step as you write it etc…
Saliva: Can you punch me – right here on the arm?
Gory: Why?
Saliva: Because I hate myself right now and I’ll remember these suggestions if you punch me."
"Gory: So you’re all alone in this suite now?
Saliva: Yeah! It’s great. I can leave all my things everywhere and not just lock the common room door and not worry about it. And I walk around naked…"
* - Nickname. Real name withheld for my own safety.
** - Nickname of third musketeer, also an amazing, beautiful person as all my friends are. Real name also withheld for my own safety.
4 comments
socks on such a funny post...i love that friend of yours, crazy one
REPLYand saliva?that's an odd nickname
REPLYyou do have interesting friends...
REPLYTell me your friends and i'll tell you who you are. Now i Understand.....
REPLYhi! thanks for commenting. I'm always open to new ideas. I can't wait to hear yours.