Letter to my 16 year old self

Posted by yz on Sunday, December 13, 2009 in

My muse has taken an unannounced vacation. When I close my eyes, I feel an island. Still sitting at a pork joint slapping the mosquitoes off my leg I feel him near so maybe he’ll back soon. Till he makes his reappearance, I saw this at Val’s so I’m doing it too.

Zabu,

You hate being 16, every single second of it. People say you will look back and love it but you’re right. You won’t. You will look back and your body will fill with absolute relief that it is over. Did you hear that? You are right! This is the part where you lock the door and do a dance…

Speaking of which, don’t be afraid to dance. I know you think you’re a truly horrible dancer. You’re not Shakira but you’re not so bad yourself, especially when you don’t think so much, ok? So let loose. Actually this applies to your hair as well. Let it loose. Half of it’s going to fall out in a while so you might as well make the most of it. I know sweatshirts, t-shirts and jeans are your thing but wear a dress or two as well. It won’t hurt. No, fire will not rain from the heavens either.

Mummy. I know I said the taboo word. She gets better. No, really she does. Eventually you will even find her jokes funny. And you will make transcontinental calls. And send long emails. And follow her Facebook© statuses. I know it’s hard to imagine but it’s true. You’re gonna lurrrrrrrrrve her! Since I’m telling you unbelievable things you should know that your sisters will metamorphose into actual human beings. It will happen when you are not watching. One day you will look at them and they will have become people you want to be friends with.

Boys don’t get any less confusing. In fact they get more. They become human with actual hearts and stuff. Be strong and brave. Most importantly learn from every experience. Actually that applies to everything. Stop being vain and put on your glasses. There’s a whole world that you can’t see beyond the 2 feet yours eyes naturally allow you. Put ‘em on and see, babes. It’s friggin fantastic!

Truth? No one cares that much what you do. So being a bookworm is not a bad thing, being black and liking rock isn’t a crime either. They may not be ‘cool’ but they are not crimes. It’s also ok that you follow Harry Potter religiously and have a poster of Gandalf. That saying you think is dumb, ‘the people who mind don’t matter, and those matter don’t mind’ applies sweets. You’re going to meet a bunch of incredible people who like you in all your randomness.

You know how it possibly couldn’t get any worse? It does. It gets truly horrible. Truly truly truly sucky. You learn what real pain feels like. You are ready for it though and you make it through. J’s going to Iraq after 12 grade and doesn't come back. Memorize his laugh because it made you want to laugh too. C goes too so don’t just friend her on Facebook©. Do everything possible more. Prayer helps.

There’s a lot more but I’m guessing there’s a book you’d love to escape in so go.

lots of love,

you